26 Things You Need to Know Before You Become A Mom

Ok...so there are a ton of books and articles out there that discuss the science behind having a child, and the thoughts and feelings you might have after. But let’s be real, NONE of those fully prepare you for what’s REALLY coming! Or maybe I stopped reading when my newborn came. Who has time for that?! 

If you know me at all, I shoot straight and tell you like it is, with very little sugar coating. Therefore, I appreciate people who do the same for me. 

I was that 28 year old pregnant girl who read all Jenny McCarthy’s “Naked Truth” books to prepare for pregnancy, childbirth and mommyhood. Jenny and I (in my head) became BFF’s and she did an amazing job laying it all out there. I’m a little disappointed we lost touch after my oldest daughter hit 2 years old. I was completely on my own with knowing what comes next...poor me, right?! 

Okay, so think about it. This is a job where you won’t really know your ROI (Return on Investment) for 20-30 years. You’ll have an inkling you’re doing ok...but because of this, I feel compelled to put a list of “this is normal” type things that people forget to mention about being a Mom. 

Hopefully you will read this and comment below, with your favorites that I simply forgot. God knows we all have “Mommy-brains”.

#1 Childbirth is the easy part.

#2. You will rock giant pads and one size fits all fishnet briefs for the first few weeks. 

#3. Hearing the name Mom for the first time is absolutely

amazing...but hearing it a million times a day will drive you absolutely batty! 

#4. Shopping is no longer fun. 

#5. You will feel like you’re losing your mind, when you find your car keys in the refrigerator.

#6. Trampolines, jump rope, running, sneezing, etc. are no longer “dry” events! 🤪

#7. Showers are a gift that are NOT received daily. 

#8. You will NEVER do anything right.

#9. You are a free Uber driver...no tips included. 

#10. You will hate the following: Elf on the Shelf, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, etc. They will get all the stinkin’ credit! 

#11. You are judged by other Moms, on a daily basis. 

#12. Your kids will not appreciate you, until they are in their 20’s (maybe 30’s).

#13. Nagging becomes your #1 talent.

#14. You’re not allowed to get sick again (this rule does not apply to Dads 🙄).

#15. What’s theirs is theirs, what’s yours is theirs.

#16. Bathroom trips are no longer your alone time. If it’s a closed bathroom door, they will bang on it like a SWAT Team. 

#17. You’re always tired, but too tired to realize 

#18. NEVER throw away “art” that looks like scribble or chicken scratch. 😳

#19. Coffee and Alcohol WILL become your two best friends

#20. Having “More Patience” will always be your New Year Resolution.  

#21. Your kids will always be hungry at bedtime...ALWAYS! 

#22. You’ll cut up and blow on your kids dinner and wish your dinner was still hot too. 

#23. You are NOT smarter than a 1st grader

#24. You’ll stay up late because it’s peaceful.

#25. You will cry at every commercial, TV show or conversation that’s involves being a mom.

#26. You will try and fail at many things in life, but never stop giving 100% at being the best Mom YOU can be. You will be proud of many things in your life, but nothing can top being a Mother! 

"MOM = One who sacrifices her body, sleep, social life, spending money, eating hot meals, peeing alone, patience, energy and sanity for LOVE!"

P.S. Don't forget to help this Mama out and tell me what most surprised you about becoming a Mom! 

-Katie Lak
Owner
www.Lolligagin.com